Checking back in, finally

Okay, so I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I've been so busy and for a while I wasn't allowed on the computer at all for having my website. So yeah, first piece of news? That's down. Second, Steve and I broke up. There was so much drama with all my friends after that, it was insane. I just kind of gave up on everything after that. But you know what? It's all better now. Everything is back to normal and I love it. And last? I GOT A JOB. I work at Tim Hortons now. haha. It's okay I guess. I like it sometimes but it really makes my feet hurt. Oh well. I like the money. haha. So... as like, everybody in my school knows, I have a really big crush on someone now? Like, insanely big. Not even funny. And no it's not John. I decided that, well Freddy is really far away so... not try. I'm not gonna say who it is though. Not yet at least. But I will say that, Meaghan is going to ask him about me tomorrow so I'm like, really really anxious. I want to know so bad. Maybe than these incesant butterflies will go away. Anyway, I'll be checking in more regularly again, so keep the reading up. Bye everybody,

Laura

P.S = Oh, by the way? SEVEN SLEEPS TILL CHRISTMASSSSS!!!

Hmmm

Well, this weekend has been real nice so far. Yesterday I spent my time on the computer and then met up with everyone at Ryan's house. That was fun... I got to torture his poor little brother. hehe. Stupid Ryans bathroom door. I leaned on it and, it was locked, but it swung allll the way open while someone was getting dressed. I was like HOLY JEEZ IM GOING DOWN STAIRS! Man that was hilarious. But I don't think I'll ever use that bathroom. haha. And then when I got home Meaghan came over. We went for a walk like we normally do. We ended up jumping the fence and walking down the high way to Shimms to get snacks at like, 11:40 at night? haha. And then with our food we walked back up to the park and sat on the swings talking and drinking Redbull. yumm. Then when we got home we went on the computer and put on Memoirs of A Geisha. But Meaghan fell asleep on the couch half way through while I was still on the computer. hehe. Anyway, this morning my daddy woke us up and was like, Meaghan, your mom wants you coherent and I was like WHAT? Meaghans not here :S Jeez I was tired. Meh. It was a nice morning, we just sat around playing the question game and then her parents picked her up. Then I got on the computer. As usual. I'm so excited, High School Musical is on xd Anyway, I'm off to watch it! xo

Brunch Time

Well, what a strange night/morning I had. I was on the phone with Ryan until 4 in the morning, but at like, 2, my friend John from Fredericton calls me on my cellphone and I was trying to talk to them both... It was really really hard. haha. It was a funny phone call I'll say. Damn John though, calls on my cell phone haha, long distance much? Whatever though. haha. I don't care. xd It was a fun night. I was really tired when I finally crawled into bed. Ryan actually stayed on the phone with me until 4 in the moring. 4! haha. It was a fun phone call. We played the question game... it's funny how much you can find out about people in that game. I feel better than last night now. And this morning my daddy woke me up at 12:30 and took me to brunch at The Old Time Dinner. It was alot of fun. I love it when he takes me out places. We had a real nice morning. He was suprised when I got dressed really quickly. He sayd I'm definitly not my mother :P Yeah, I really don't need that much time to get dressed usually. I'm almost always pretty quick. I can get out the door in ten minutes actually. haha. I've had to do it before. Anyway, I'm not sure whats going on today but I hope it's fun xd, I'm out.

Lest We Forget, Happy Rememberance Day

The weekends here! :D

YAY! The weekend is finally here! Yesterday after school at around 830 Meaghan came over. Camille ordered pizza for us and brought home pop and chips. yummm. Then Meaghan and I watched ghost. Best love story every, God I love that movie! Then when she left I went back on the computer which is what I had been doing from the time I got home till when she got there. I love not having any siblings home to kick me off. It's wonderful. haha. Anyway, I had quite the conversations... I think are a couple people that need to be blocked... or annihilated altogether! Geez. But I was up until three in the morning talking to my new friend Mike. He's my orchestra buddy who's not really in orchestra! hahaha. Jeez. I learned something this morning. If you want the cleaning ladies to clean your room? Don't sleep in. They just pass over it. My aunt and her sister clean my house every friday but I didn't wake up until 12:30 when they were leaving. Oh well, I'll do it later myself I guess. But now I have a horrible headache from sleeping in when my body thought I should be up. I don't think I'll be sleeping in that late from now on... hmmm. Random noise from upstairs in an empty house? That's freaky... Anyway. While in school yesterday I wrote two new poems, so after I type those out, I'm off.


A Hidden Path

When you look into my eyes,
What do you see;
Is it lies or vacancy?
In my eyes should be contempt,
for you I mean;
You won't allow me too vent.
At times I want to just explode,
Which way do I go;
At this fork in the road?
I can't feel my feet,
Nor hear my heart;
This web of lies will tear me apart.
When I hear his hello,
I just want to cry;
Does he really love me or is it all a lie?
When the time comes,
I wish to know whats right.
I don't want to hurt you, don't want to fight.
Maybe one day,
I'll know which path to chose,
But either of you I wish never to lose.


11:11

I wish for you every night,
I wish that you and I were right.
I wish that you would let me know,
I wish that I could just let go.
I wish that i wasn't all a lie,
I wish you wouldn't make me cry.
I wish for you to love me back,
I wish for passion that you lack.
I wish for you every night,
I wish I wish with all my might.

Maybe I should take a chance and jump...

You know how sometimes we feel a little off? Well that's how I've been lately. I just don't know whats wrong with me. I don't feel like myself at all. I just feel like, I'm not here, you know? Well maybe you don't. I just don't think I'm... doing what I should be doing, like I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I'm not sure. I'm so confused! Ugh! I don't really know whats wrong. Maybe it's because I'm hanging out with different people, I'm not applying myself. I'm just going through life on auto mode these days because nothing feels like its worth working for. There's only one thing I can think of that I would work for, and it's not even possible. Life just doesn't seem to have any point when you have nothing to strive for and no passion for what you do have. I mean, I have passion for my violin yes, but I hate working on it sometimes. And I love my friends and all, but we seem to do the same thing a lot now. I'm getting kind of tired of pool? Not that they're not fun haha. I just feel like im in a rut in life, and I don't know what I can do to get out of it. I applied for jobs today though, maybe doing something productive will help. Striving for nothing is annoying me but I can't help being slack. I'm just... ugh. Maybe I need to try cheering up. Because I have been rather depressed lately. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm heartbroken. That's what it feels like. But I don't know why. Anyway, that's all for now, I really don't know what more to say.

You know you love someone when...

You know you love someone when;

a) you wait up forever for them to sign online
b) you think about them almost 24/7
c) everything reminds you of them
d) you count the days, the minutes, until you will see them again
e) you don't ever want to say goodbye
f) you're willing to try your hardest to make things work
g)when you sign off... you just sit there. wishing theyd say three words you long to hear

Wow. This is so... nice.

Okay, my friend has these really nice quotes on her site (thanks Dani!) and I just had to show them too you. They're so... amazing. I really want to know where she found them because I agree with them entirely!

1. Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good, that everything is meaningful, even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.

2.I believe that IMAGINATION is stronger than KNOWLEGE --
MYTH is more potent than HISTORY --
DREAMS are more powerful than FACTS --
HOPE always triumphs over EXPERIENCE --
LAUGHTER is the cure for GREIF --
LOVE is stronger than DEATH.

3. Peace may sound simple - one beautiful word-
but it require everything we have, every quality, every strength,
every dream, every high ideal.

4.To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.

What a relief

Well, today was such a day. I had my homework done, I'm getting my report card and I have like no homework done for tonight. Such a relief. And, I found out what happened to my receipt too. Thank god. I seriously thought I was done, that receipt was for 141 dollars and I would have had to pay that and kept the materials? Well that would have been retarted. But I'm so... non-stressed now! I feel so much better because of one stupid little receipt. What a strange thing to make someone feel better eh? Everything is sorted out in my life now, it's like, a chain reaction. Stephen and I are doing much much better, things are like, practically back to normal. My homework is caught up and not a problem at all, my recital this friday is all prepared for. I'm like, set to go. Although I'm still really tired. I stay up to late to talk on msn and it's starting to wear me out. My mom came up to me tonight and asked if I was okay because I didn't look well. That's not a good sign. I guess I've just worn myself out, and I've been eating less because of how stressed I've been and how little time I have to actually sit down and have a proper meal. That's REALLY bad. I think I'll have a nice big breakfast tomorrow... and plus it's K.D day at the church tomorrow! haha. I love those people. They're so kind, they just make me smile. Anyway, I guess that's all one me for now, I'm just gonna go relax :) I kinda need it still... maybe I'll go for a run.

Clearing my Head

Wow. I guess it's easy to write alot when you start these things or something, because this is my third today. haha. But whatever, I had stuff to write and I wanted to write it. I went for a run a while after my last blog. I ran as hard as I could, not for long of course, just once around the block with my dog. But it was enough. I just wanted to feel the wind in my face and the pavement under my feet. To feel my heartbeat race and my head pound. God I love that feeling. It clears my head. And now I'm not as stressed as earlier. Although I still need to find that goshdarn receipt that I lost for Junior Achievement. I really don't want to be audited you know... But whatever. I'll call the guy tomorrow and ask for a replacement. That might work. haha. Hopefully. And now I'm sitting here listening to my music. God, I feel so much better. It's funny how such a little thing as playing a CD can make me feel better. I swear to God, without my music I would absolutely die. No kidding. It's such an escape, just like running or reading or writing are escapes. They're just different worlds for me, detached from all the problems of reality. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm feeling much better. Everything will work out fine I think, I just have to have faith in God <3

stressfull lifestyle

Well guys, that's me and my boyfriend Stephen. We've been going out since October 2nd and up until lately we've been doing great. This weekend we had some problems, but I think it will work out okay. I don't want to say I love him because I don't use that work but I do really care about him and want things to workout. I don't want to ever hurt him. But other than that life is pretty good. I just wish my grades were better : I'm used to high eighties and nineties but this year they're all in the seventies! That's horrible! I'm so stressed lately it's not even funny. I have Junior Achievement stuff, and school stuff and now this stuff with Stephen and some stuff with my friends. I just don't know what to put my priorities into because on top of that I have violin and my family to worry about. Things are just piling up and I have no idea what to concentrate on so I try and concentrate on it all. It's not working. I just wish I had time to go for a run, or sit down and play some music and/or write. I just wish I could just sit for a bit and not worry about something. But it's impossible. There are always things running through my head that I have to do. I don't know what to do about it. Everything I have is so important so I can't quit anything. So I just keep running. I'm burning out, exhausted and stressed and cranky just about everyday for the past month. But whatever. Maybe I'll get up early in the morning and go for a run. It snowed today though, which means Christmas Vacation is coming up! At least I have something to look forward to...

wow; you know you're bored when...

Hey people, this is really random I know. But I was reading Becca's blogs and it sounded like a good idea so I decided to start one. I can get things out on here I think, just writing because here's a place to let people read it. And; let them try and figure out what the hell is going on in my head. I'm so screwed up sometimes. But it's okay. I still have friends, suprisingly. haha. But whatever, so have fun reading on, and I'll try and update as much as possible.

PS. I would love to get feedback so feel free to comment or give advice!